This new (mainstream) phenomenon of self love has shifted our mindsets for the better. Not only does it mean to love who you are, but also love what you look like.
I've felt a calling to share my journey towards loving myself as I hope will impact someone else in theirs.
I was a shy girl growing up and in high school, I was flat chested, had acne, and braces and zero self confidence and would blush if a boy even tried to talk to me! The negative thoughts would race in my head each and every day.
"If only I was skinnier"
"If only I had bigger boobs"
"If only I had clear skin"
These thoughts continued in college, but with higher intensity.
The breaking point for me was after dating a man when I was about 22 who was a narcissist, an amateur model, had a "perfectly" chiseled body and also had a gorgeous mom who used to be a model who had breast implants. I felt like I did not deserve him, like I wasn't pretty enough, fit enough, didn't have big enough boobs, and most definitely could never be a model. The relationship didn't last long and I broke up with him because I found out he was cheating on me. After the breakup, I went on this health and fitness rampage, wanting to become that "perfect" version of myself; thinking that if I was skinnier and prettier, he wouldn't have cheated on me. It took me four years to finally learn that the reason I chose to date a narcissist was because I needed an extreme contrast to show me what loving yourself looked like. Yes, that may have been an EXTREME contrast, but I needed to see it. Overall, I had a lesson to learn, that I was living in fear, afraid that I was not enough.
Choose Love or Fear
I see this same fear time and time again in my friends, colleagues and even strangers. Most often around what they eat and how they look. For instance, I've had friends say that they just won't eat dinner so that they can drink that night. And that they just need to lose 5 more pounds and then they'll be happy with themselves.
Why can't we just love WHO we are as we are?
Yes, I am 110% behind always growing and becoming the best version of yourself, which is why I have this blog, but I want to challenge you all take time to check in with yourself. When you eat that burger, have a bite of that cookie, have one too many drinks the night before, WHAT ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF?
Is it coming from a place of LOVE or FEAR?
When we shift our mindsets and become the loving and nurturing mothers for ourselves and our bodies that we deeply desire to be, we will see a radical shift in our lives. For me, this shift happened only a few months ago, at the age of 26. I don't have a grandiose story to tell you of how the shift happened, but one day I noticed the chatter go away. The thoughts like, "You're thighs are too fat", "you aren't as pretty as her"... they just went away.
We all have the right to feel happy with ourselves and it MUST come from within my friends.
Here are a few resources that may help you in your journey towards Loving You.
- Christine Hassler: Over it and On with It Podcast: Episode 143: Step Off the Codependent Path and Break Generational Patterns with Sandie
- Body Love by Kelly LeVeque (celebrity health and wellness consultant for celebrities like Jessica Alba and Chelsea Handler)
- Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle
If you are struggling with what I'm touching on, I'm here for you. I'm just a email, message, dm or call away.
YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE YOU.